Happiness

We all want to be happy, we don’t like feeling sad and low. We all feel happy when we are young, we have time, we have money, we have a family, we have friends, we have a good relationship, we have no illness, we have health, we all feel happy. But, what about the times, when we are knocked down by Life, we are on knees by a single blow life thrown at us. How can we be happy in those times? How can we have a positive perspective in those unwanted circumstances?

Happiness isn’t something that we have to look outside for, it is inside in each one of us; in every human being and we are in control of it. If our happiness is dependent on something other than ourselves, then the world and its people will never let you be happy. Have you ever seen a baby, they are dependent on their parents for their food, and care, they can’t walk, they can’t speak, they can’t understand, they don’t have wants, they don’t have desires, still when they smile it appears that they are truly happy. But, we are not talking about kids here, we are talking about grown-ups here. 

In my experience of the last couple of years - post 30 to 33, the main reason I could figure out that people are not happy is because they are continuously in a fight with themselves. They fight of wanting something or the other from another human being, it could be love, could be attention, could be care, could be money, it could be expectation to understand, it could be emotions which define something or give value to them. The internal fights keep rising in terms of numbers as the time passes, and we start a new fight with ourselves to resolve the existing fight. For example, we get anxious about something, then we don’t work to find the root cause of being anxious instead we become anxious about being anxious, which leads to a panic attack. In a matter of a few hours, we regain control of ourselves but the underlying issue remains unresolved and we think we are ok. 

These fights increase exponentially, and we become less happier by each day. The fun fact is that we think that the solution of our problem is with others. We don’t appreciate what we have, we always want something more, and the desires are increased each day. One can satisfy his/her needs but not wants. Leading to increase in the number of self fights. Instead of accepting the truth, we try to run away from reality toward the picture we painted with our choice of color and brush. We want things to be our own way, and certainly not in the way they are. Accepting the truth and to arrive at a win-win situation, would make all happy. The loss of a beloved one is the greatest loss one can experience in a lifetime. If one of your beloved one leaves you, there would be consequences for it. You would feel lonely, sad, depressed, angry, and a lot of other emotions will surface and you might not be able to cope with all of them at the same time. There would be times when you hurt yourself, there would be times when you cry endlessly for hours among many other emotions. 

If you think deeply and observe closely, all these are negative emotions, which in turn would only hurt you no one else. They grow on you, they feed on negative thoughts, and once that engine starts it is almost difficult to pull the plug off, which in turn makes them bigger and bigger by each day. And, the fights become big by each day consuming all the emotional energy and positivity one has.

Now, the questions remain, how to be happy. It is simple, happiness doesn’t lie outside, it lies inside. As simple as that, accept the truth as early possible and have no expectation of whatsoever from anyone. The moment you say these few words to yourself, you would feel light, and might smile a bit - that’s when the fire of happiness is lit. The more and more you get close to the truth, the happier you become. There are no fights left inside you. You can now focus on things you like and actually be happy. If inside you aren’t sad, depressed, lonely, or angry. You are healed. 

Never seek happiness from others, seek it from yourself. The ones who seek their happiness from others, are vulnerable beyond measure.